Get to the bottom of it.
Mala event at Montrose Beach, 2007
There's a process we use in ParaYoga called vichara. In our lineage, it's a process to get to the root of our suffering, our dukha, which means "bad space". Then we have two choices to end the suffering - to either change something or accept what's bugging you. Truly, this is more difficult than it seems.
I'm irritated at someone because they said they'd call me and not only didn't call, but is apologizing in a way that doesn't seem like they're taking responsibility. They're saying, "I'm sorry that you were worried that I didn't call" and "sorry that there was a miscommunication about calling", as opposed to, "I'm sorry that I didn't call you."
Is this splitting hairs? Probably. Is it still irritating? Totally. Why? Why does this small disappointment become a living irritation? Here's where getting to the root of why I'm pissy comes in.
I have to find out the root of why not being called and not being "properly" apologized to is bugging me. Then, I need to accept or change. Good, I have my work cut out for me today. It's the small things that teach us, sometimes.
Mia Park is a ParaYoga teacher in Chicago, IL, specializing in teaching Basic Yoga for Advanced Misfits, as well as teaching people how to cut through the junk to shine on.